This past Saturday night, a group from my work and I were invited to attend GLAAD's (Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation) Media Awards. I've waited a couple of days to write this entry, because I wanted to calm down a bit before I set any words down. With that said, I did write a few short bits on my tumblr about this earlier. They are perhaps a bit less refined (and 10% as lengthy), but I think my feelings shared here are no less real. (
Post 1;
Post 2.) This event is the 3rd or 4th experience my coworkers and I have had with adult-run organizations/the media this past year. I've learned quite a lot about working with the media and adults who are
not youth workers from those collaborations, and I have a lot of advice and critiques to offer.
First of all, I want any adults and organizations who are interested in working with or serving queer and transgender youth to know that we are not grasping at straws for attention. We aren't thankful for every time you show the
slightest ounce of interest in us because we expect and deserve more.
We also are not charity cases. If you want to work with us, it is in your best interest to put effort into it. We are not stupid and we know whether or not we are treated fairly.
I am writing this as an 18 year old who has been working in the community since I was 14. I am proof that youth development is successful; I am also proof that youth can do anything with enough training and support (hi, CHALK!) I am also writing this as a queer Chinese-American girl who is an extremely dedicated ally to the trans and gender variant communities.
Leaders of GLAAD, I know you are used to complaining about the oppression you face as queer people. But you must be REAL and face and address the ways in which you hold power and privilege over others as wealthy, white, older (not 24 years old and under) men (which the majority of you are. Unless you are hiding all the women in the back. Are they white too?)
I came to the GLAAD Media Awards knowing nothing about the organization. Later I was told that their work is centered around addressing negative representations of GLBT people in the media and celebrating "positive" representations of GLBT people. My coworkers and I would later learn that what they really mean is that they address negative representations of gays and lesbians.
White gays and lesbians. I wish I had done a face count; I saw a few people of color, and no Asians at all. It's no wonder that so many in the Asian-American community (as diverse as it is) still believe that queer and transgender Asian people don't exist.
The blatant lack of trans-competency and cultural competency for people of color outraged me. Throughout the night I was shocked that the words "transgenders", "transgendered", and at one point even "trans-yen-yers" were coming from the stage.
Those are slurs, not words we use. I would expect ANYONE who is even the slightest bit of an ally to the trans community to know that.
Saying "transgender people" is not difficult, but they could not even do that. I am horrified by the fact that GLAAD has an annual budget of $8 million to do their work, but they do not know this
BASIC information about the transgender community. My co-worker, Max, said it best: "
saying that you do things for all the GLBT community, and then only repeating "gay and lesbian" and only actually doing things for gays and lesbians is counter productive." This also shows me that there are no transgender or gender variant people on staff, which is a problem if you are trying to work on trans issues. (It is the same as people trying to work on youth issues without having any youth leadership. It is
not possible.) Or, if there are trans or gender variant staff, there is something wrong when they do not feel they can speak up against the use of these words.
This event had absolutely no space for youth. I felt I had been treated like a dog (my coworkers say "second class citizen", and that works too) and invited to serve the purpose of a dog--I mean, the staff member in charge of organizing the youth portion told us they invite youth to "add more energy. So be loud and cheer!" What are we, little Chihuahuas?
Youth were served dinner, tiny buffet-style, in a separate room. After a small intro/pep talk (during which the staff member told us we were to be Chihuahuas), we were brought out to the room where the event was held. It was a huge room, full of fancy tables where rich people sat and were served fancy food.
The youth were assigned to the back of the room to 3 rows of chairs. The show lasted for 2-3 hours (felt like 4 hours at least) and we were not offered any food or drinks, while we watched tables nearby enjoying waiters' service. We were able to see who was on stage because of two gigantic screens placed on the left and right of stage. Otherwise, the presenters and award winners were barely visible behind the crowds of tables.
If anyone reading this is thinking, "why are you complaning? They gave you food and they invited you," you have to know that this does not do anything for me. Like I said, queer and trans youth aren't thankful for every drop of attention we're given. At this event, we were so clearly treated as second-class citizens, and none of us are thankful for that. I was invited for 3-4 hours of being fed advertisements for alcohol, AT&T and travel, listening to fundraising pitches, and exchanging plenty of "REALLY?" looks with my co-workers.
More problematic happenings throughout the night included:
1) The winning bidder of Naya's kiss non-consentually grabbing her butt
2) "If you haven't watched
Glee... first of all, kill yourself, second of all, as if!" --
Naya Rivera Kill yourself? Really? Did we need to pull out those statistics about trans and queer youth and suicide again? Or was that media blitz about youth suicides not enough?
3) Ableism in the house! I don't remember the exact joke, but my co-worker called foul.
ETA:
the ableism was some (rich, white, able bodied) guy saying "retarded" and someone else saying "it fell on deaf ears."
The following are some recommendations I have for GLAAD's next event when they want to be "youth-inclusive":
1) Integrate us with the rest of the humans in the room. Either that, or give us VIP service. Your choice.
2) If your main sponsor is a vodka company... you might want to think about the youth in the room and what kind of message that's sending. I know a sponsor will help you throw an event, but this is just ridiculous. It's no secret that there is a depressing amount of alcoholism in the queer community, and it's also no mystery why that is. (I know that there is a great deal of history in gay bars, but having all these advertisements around does not help anything.) They have plagued our community.
3) Re-evaluate your intentions and reasons for inviting youth. We are not there to be cheerleaders. If you claim to care so much about addressing "bullying" and youth issues, you must hire youth and pay them for their work. If you have $8,000,000/year, you can afford to hire youth.
4) Your fundraising pitches are IRRELEVANT to us. Spending over 10 minutes asking for donations is a waste of our time. Forgetting that we are in the room by stating that "EVERYONE in this room can pledge $100/month, I am locking the doors until you all pledge" is embarassing on your behalf. Please remember that during this, we are not able to be distracted by snacks or other entertainment. We are sitting in 3 rows in the back of the room, foodless, drinkless, bored, shaking our heads. A few of us have already left at this point.
5) If you promise youth a meet and greet with a celebrity, give us a proper one, or at least be HONEST about what it'll be. Telling us that each and every one of us will get time to meet Naya Rivera... and then in reality, people just stampeded around her and took a big group photo and called it a day, is lying to us. Also, it was SO CLEAR how much you valued the youth when it came time for us to take a group photo. Literally
SCREAMING at the youth to sit, kneel, and "MOVE", while kissing Naya's ass in front of us is absolutely insulting. We expect to be treated like human beings, not cattle. I feel nothing less than exploited. You will use the photo of us will Naya and Kim Catrall to gain money from donors and funders, but you do NOT do ANYTHING for queer and trans youth. It is an absolute abuse of power.
The following are some recommendations I have for GLAAD in general:
1) I am enraged by the shameful lack of people of color in your organization and in the media you celebrate. You do not represent me or the queer community that I know--one that is extremely diverse, full of intersections of identities and unique experiences. A wealthy white adult male, which is who made up the majority of those on stage AND on screen, will never fully understand me or my experiences, and will NEVER be able to represent my voice or my community. You must have people of color in positions of power and leadership. And you must begin to work with the media to make sure that not only gays and lesbians are portrayed positively, but also TRANSGENDER and GENDER VARIANT folks and PEOPLE OF COLOR.
2) When you claim to serve GLB
T folks, but the very title of your organization only lists "gays and lesbians"... it shows in your work.
3) You must hire youth, transgender and gender variant folks, and people of color. By this, I don't mean the token 2 or 3 staff members. We must make up at least half of your staff. I know this is difficult because maybe you are uncomfortable recognizing what communities people are a part of. But you absolutely cannot try to melt everyone into a big queer pot and act like those identities aren't important, because when you do, the people who end up in power are always (you guessed it) wealthy white older cis men. And that's not okay.
Please don't forget that:
1) You must ask youth what our needs are and give each and every one of us your undivided attention.
2) You must come with an open mind.
3) You must learn about adultism and address the ways in which you benefit from this system of oppression.
4) If you work at an organization and you want to work with youth, you MUST create space for youth to hold positions of power and have their voices heard.
5) Solutions to youth issues will NEVER be realized in a conversation void of youth voice.
6) You must be inclusive of people of color, trans and gender variant folks, and people from different communities, backgrounds, and experiences. This means they need to be on your staff. And you need to start realizing that racism, transphobia, adultism, classism, and sexism exists. And that a staff with a majority of white wealthy older cis men are not and never will be equipped to address these issues alone.
7) If you hire someone to be the head of anything for youth, they should be a youth worker. The sad truth is that most adults, no matter how seasoned of a community worker they may be, are not youth-competent. They can be with training, but that training WILL NOT come from other adults who are not youth-competent.
I have a lot more to say, and I will write as it comes along. These are my immediate recommendations for GLAAD, and any adults who are interested in working with queer and transgender youth can take from this what they wish to. I know that more and more adults are interested in working with queer and trans youth, and it is important that they do this in a way that is not degrading, exploitative and overall unsuccessful, which has been my experience so far. Let's work together and change that.
Vanessa
Please check out the LYRIC Queer Educators' Blog at
www.queereducators.wordpress.com!
