All artists are mortal

Most of my lovers are artists
Artists have dirty hands
All artists are mortal

Brick & Mortar

source

Yuck - Get Away

the last of summer

tim barber

hedi slimane




ed templeton



more half naked guys next time

caw lleggge

A Tribe Called Quest - Steve Biko (Stir It Up)

today was my first day back at school
it actually isn't a big deal because i only had one class,
but after being out of school for nearly a year it felt like a pretty big thing.

honestly it feels nice being back in class, around hella people my age
let's hope i continue to stay feelin that way.

btw that's my new labbit haha. i got the zebra print one too
couldn't resist the mustache

Nothing and everything

1. Patti Smith by Judy Linn 2. Ed Ruscha

I always refer to Patti as "my queen." When I think of demigods, she is it. I am very happy about the news of her beginning the screenplay for the Just Kids film. A must read (and eventually a must see) for any artist, lover or dreamer.

Winona Week

Last week was crazy, I was feeling particularly fed up with boys and dating life in general so I declared it "Winona Week." I love Jim Jarmusch's Night On Earth and Winona is amazing as Corky, a taxi driver from Los Angeles. I love her androgynous style and feminine features. Dress like Corky, fuck dating and forget this shit ever happened was last week's motto.

It was nice getting less attention for a week. Well, maybe not less attention, but different type of attention. Less "can I wife/fuck/get to know you," more "sup bro" (which I heard at least 4x at Outside Lands.) And this guy told me I looked like a lesbian, which hasn't happened in a long time. I almost forgot what it felt like to be "clockable."

FYI! Add a backwards Giants cap and this = lesbian. Lesbian at a music festival. *For the record, I am queer/pansexual. Only part lesbian. Flannel from UO, Tank by UNIF and cheap Zara jeans that left rashes on my legs.

This week, I'm trying to lay off the cigarettes, get at least some rest, and count my blessings. Sometimes I can't believe there are only four months left of this year...

V

objects of dreams

I want to grow old before I grow up
I want to die with my chin up
And definitely maybe I will live to love



I made a mix for you all of music that I've been listening to. For lovers, solo cigarette breaks, & wandering back home at 1 am - summer 2011

image by rinko kawauchi

skin is not a map but i trace you anyway

i thought that maybe
you would like to know my mood





i like these images which remind me of moments with lovers
a hazy type of beauty
memories in which my feelings are more clear than the images
i hate to get sentimental but i always regret not filming the moments more carefully
what exactly did he say to me?
what was his expression when i last saw him?
i can't be so sure if my memories are really true

there's something about cold hands
the feeling of hunger
the smell of cigarettes on my fingers
that have particularly appealed to me lately




credit

why does intimacy always breed some sort of depression in me?
tenderness feels sad
maybe because it makes me realize
its absence in most of my life
maybe because it goes
just as quickly as it came

Sentimentality in its purest sense

Last Fall / Andrej Pejic by Mert & Marcus


This Fall / Mariacarla Boscono by Mert & Marcus

GIRL TALK: BOOBIES

I vaguely remember it being around 3rd grade when I began to notice boobs (and not in a lezzie way.) I thought it was really important that one day I would have big boobs because--well, I don't remember why. I just thought they were important. To be a girl, to be a woman, to be pretty, whatever.

I would do things like... be really careful about not bumping into anything, move my seat belt so that it wouldn't "put pressure" on my chest. I even remember one time getting really mad at this boy because he accidentally threw a ball and it hit my chest, and I thought he had stunted my boob growth forever. Too much information? I don't care. This really happened.

By 5th grade my best friend would do things like point at pictures of Paris Hilton and say "look, she's in the tiny boob club like me!" I remember thinking, "you have bigger boobs than me, idiot."

I also remember that episode of Lizzie McGuire where Hilary Duff's enemy became evil because she finally bought a bra, and Lizzie (Hilary Duff) really wanted to buy a bra but didn't know how to shop for a size. I felt like that was pretty relevant to life.

Thinking from a feminist/sisterhood point of view it really annoys me that no one ever told me it's ok that even the smallest Victoria's Secret size is too big. And while I understand the importance of having the message of "curvy/big is beautiful" I wish at least one small-boobed girl like me would've said it's beautiful too. Hell, at least one message to match the countless comments I would hear about "that poor flat chested girl", she needs a boob job, how having small boobs meant you were basically a boy and not a sexy one, etc. Even if they were not directed towards me (they rarely were) I still took them in the same.

Even in my personal life I didn't know how to address it. It just felt really awkward. It seemed like my partners never knew what to do with my boobs. (Tip: small boobs have sensation too...) It made me realize that what I heard in all those sex-positive trainings is true--you really have to get to know yourself--your body, your boundaries, how you communicate needs, etc--before being with other people. Because they may not know what to do with your boobs. But you do.

My original intention behind writing about boobs was to post pictures of VPL lingerie (my favorite) but I guess that's beside the point now.

Now, give me a quarter for every time I wrote "boobs" in this entry...

DYE IT B L O N D E